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You wouldnt want to read my blabber. Yup k bye.
Am so sick and tired of comforting and encouraging people when they are down/come to me for help. Not referring to anyone, but how can i help when i cant even handle my screwed up life myself?!?! I understand how everyone can have their bad days and stuff, i do too. Sometimes i just cheer myself up by appearing happy and cheerful in school/when im out. But now things have changed. Everyone's changed and I dont feel right. This year is streaming year, and i think i'd have to mug my remaining days away. Talking about days. Its exactly A MONTH away to SYF. I dont understand how people don't feel the rush and urgency. Some people say that i dont seemed stress. HEY, truth is, I AM FUCKING STRESSED OUT K. but obviously, i have to control my emotions right?! how can i express my stress so openly? wouldn't I be a thorn in the flesh to everyone? BMW is coming soon, and i just hope to get done and over with it. My days ahead are jammed with EMDD and SYF practices. Seriously, i think the school is driving us mad. How can they arrange EMDD a day after SYF?! God. Not that i am unhappy with the practices, others are. I accept the practices. But they just have to blame the whole CO. and that sucks you know. I did my best today, no major screw ups for me and i feel pretty alright. I know our 'performance' was horrid today, but why not just take it as a mistake we learn from? However I doubt everyone can accept it this way. Damn. Its already Saturday, tomorrow's Sunday and I have prac the whole day. My days are packed with so many CO practices that I dont even have time for myself! I haven't completed my holiday assignments, and I haven't had the time to get down to study for my tests. I can't believe that during this march "holiday", JACKASM didnt go out together. I can't take the distance and seperation. Why does everything seem to be falling apart right now?! I am totally dreading school on Monday. Fuck school, its so stressful. So what if I got 10th in class man, there are 9 people who did better than me. Despite my 5 A1s, i got a C5 for English. How amazing is that?! I have been getting straight A1s for English all my life, and I cant take the sudden blow that i scored a ... C5?! What the fuck is wrong with me?! And i screwed up my science too. C6. Wow, good job Sheryl. Whatever happened to the "Oooh yay i love science and its my best subject"? I screwed all my best subjects this time round! Better still, i failed my Chinese. I am a hopeless kid. I hate life.

Today =
Wake up at 6am to prepare for school > CO exchange thingy at RI > Airport > Lunch > Tuition > Home bitter home

Am so drained out that i cant even think straight. During tuition today i kept writing (300)(7) as 307 when its 2100 -.- AHHHH!

Over our super long bus ride + lunch, We talked about many things. Oh well.
Why must life be so hard?










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